Uphill

I have completed teacher work week. My schedule is printed, my classroom looks wonderful (pictures to come later), parent letter is printed, and website is up and running. I feel organized, excited, and optimistic.

Sort of.

It is so odd being back at school. Things are going pretty much as expected. Half of the people are going "Wow, you're Montessori now! That's awesome!" and then others are treating me like I spent the summer with lepers and I'm about to infect them.


I'm feeling discouraged. And I'm trying SO HARD NOT TO. It bothers me because usually I'm such an optimistic person. So I think it bothers me more that it bothers me than what is actually bothers me!

It's going to get better. I'm telling you that more to tell myself that. 


I was anxious about this year starting. So excited about using what I've learned in training!!!! But very nervous. How to assimilate the two worlds? I tell you, it's a lot harder than I thought. A lot more uphill.

For one there's the expectation I teach the same thing as everyone else. Not the same way, but the same standard. Which is mixing me up more than I thought. For another, Montessori is new to our area, so naturally there's a bit of resistance.

Here's a little aside. I've had many people come up to me and say "So I hear you're teaching Montessori this year!" I get to smile and politely say "No I've done the training, but I won't be able to teach it for another year." What I want to do is jump up and down flailing my arms screaming "Oh-I-want-to-start-so-bad-you-have-no-idea." But of course, I restrain myself.

Montessori lesson #1- Don't flail your arms.

What I hate is that I already feel the high I was on at the end of training fading. After a week of "What is going on your bulletin board?" and "Did you get all the workbooks you need?" I feel like I'm losing the spark.

Here's what I hope and I'm going to repeat this to myself every day until I don't have to anymore.

1- Next year will be different. Next year will be different. Next year will be different.
2- Within a few weeks the school will back off this whole "planning together" thing will die down and I'll have a little more flexibility.
3- Sometime in December I will be ordering materials which will put a pep in my step.
4- It will get better.